TIPS FOR NOOBS/ROGUES’ GALLERY

So stop telling the rest of us how, when, and what to write

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There’s no kind way to say this, so I’ll just let it fly. Some (and please note the word) of you newbies here are making yourselves look like full-tilt assholes. And, that ain’t good. Trust me, I’ve been there. Not as a writer, mind you, but as a house guest.

If you’re not sufficiently miserable, check your Twitter “recommendations.”

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This morning, one of my “recommended” Tweets was from a woman who just lost her brother, a few days shy of his 59th birthday. That was all the Tweet contained, along with a broken heart emoji.

As I didn’t want to…

ROGUES’ GALLERY RANT

When the F did that piece of fiction take off?

Image by Pronto/Flickr.Com

Here’s a tip for any budding advertising and marketing copywriters, trolling around this platform. Just because T-Mobile or other telecom or some insurance company with an actor as its mouthpiece ends their spiels with “Because we all deserve more,” that doesn’t mean it’s true.

I call that “lazy creative.” In…

Do you often feel like you’re in a hurry to get nowhere?

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Listen, I know from experience that rushing, without reason, can be a health hazard.

Frequently, I’ve hit my head on a cabinet, or the trunk of my car, or banged a hip because I’m a fucking speed demon…

ROGUES’ GALLERY RANT

On really, really being sick of the bullshit we all have to go through, to get through

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Off the bat, I realize the frustrations I’m about to share aren’t third-world issues, but, I’m yanking my hair out, just the same, and perhaps, you’re short of a few strands yourselves.

Daily, I’m drowning in a sea of forgotten or discarded email addresses and passwords. It feels like I’m…

Could anyone here use a PIF “partner in flirtation?”

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Dudes, chicks, everyone is welcome. (Except you dumbass noobs.) Older is preferable because I’m not of the cougar persuasion. Neither am I a GILF. I’d rather be thought of as a “BILF.”

“Badass I’d like to fuck.”

Whoops. Let me rephrase…

On my way out, I don’t want to regret the sofa we needed but I was too damned cheap to buy

Image by Roger Norton/Flickr.Com

Off the bat, this story probably won’t appeal to the more affluent here or the younger set to whom “mortality” is but a blip on their radar. If that.

No. This is for people like myself, who, after a certain age, are living on a fixed income. …

As I was getting ready to go to my sister’s house on Christmas Eve and make an ass out of myself, I was psyched to be wearing earrings for the first time in a while.

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I chose a pair of glitzy danglers and one rhinestone stud as I have two…

Since we’re going to be sporting face masks until the Orange Turd gets what’s coming to him (the twelfth of never) I got to thinking how this protective gear makes certain tasks challenging.

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You know, those little things we all used to take for granted.

Here’s an example. I was…

Sherry McGuinn

Long-time writer and big-time dreamer. Screenwriter. Cat mama. Red lip aficionado. sherrymcguinn@gmail.com

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