For several minutes today, I perused the wine aisle at my market…not without some guilt as my goal is to cut down, not lay in for a siege.

With that said, there was a guy stocking shelves, and he pointed out some really great deals. Like half off a $16 bottle of Chardonnay, which I have been mixing spritzers with. (Not a buzz in ten of those babies.) Plus, it was a big bottle! (Sometimes, size does matter.)

Naturally, I grabbed one and thanked him. After picking up the rest of my items, I circled back to the booze department…

PROMPT RESPONSE/WOTWU

Remember a more innocent time, when we didn’t know there was such a thing as sex, or more specifically, “fucking?”

I sure do. And I’ll bet there’s not a person here who can stomach the thought of their parents getting busy. Doing the “nasty.” “Bumping uglies.” Getting all sweaty and stinky. Especially when you were a kid growing up and finally figured out what it was all about.

Ewwwwwwww!

Come on. Am I right?

Well, before I figured it out, I used to hear strange sounds coming from my folks’ bedroom, as well as from our finished basement! Weird, high-pitched…

How many times have we heard the title line used in “spirited” conversation, or, used it, ourselves? If you haven’t you need to try it on someone, pronto. And be sure to let me know what transpires.

As a movie buff and screenwriter, dialogue that strikes a chord and reverberates far beyond a movie’s shelf life is paramount for me. Time and again, I’ve been told that I write great dialogue and I consider that a tremendous compliment because that shit is hard! …

Are you a master of the “veiled barb?”

Then you may very well be an asshole. Read on.

A veiled barb is an insult couched in a seemingly innocuous comment or fake compliment. A “left-handed” compliment, if you will.

I have been on the receiving end of these many, many, many times. (One “many” for each of my three years on Medium.)

Ninety-nine percent of those times, I just let the VBs roll off my back, but I’ve decided that from now on, anyone who doesn’t have the balls to just say it, is out of my “circle of trust,”…

Recently, I aired my opinion via several stories, about another Medium writer and whether or not I thought their much-ballyhooed situation was circumspect. Perhaps that was a mistake on my part. Certainly, the balls-out way I went about it, was, as at least one reader “implied,” that I’m lacking in “empathy.”

So, I took some heat for those stories, not a lot, but just enough, you know? And I’m okay with that as my writing is blunt, and from the heart, and admittedly, not for everyone. I’ve gotten slapped down before and I will, again. When you’re an acquired taste…

In the Bogart/Bacall movie, To Have and Have Not, Bacall says to Bogie, “If you want me, just whistle. You know how to whistle, don’t you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow.”

She lied. It ain’t that easy. Not by a longshot. When I put my lips together and “blow,” it sounds like a fart and everyone knows that women don’t fart.

I started thinking about whistling after hearing a song — a rock song, of all things — where the lead singer broke into a truly impressive whistle that lasted for several seconds.

Too, I noticed…

You wonderful people have put up with me as I’ve shared my fears of making a fool out of myself at my nephew Ryan’s wedding, so I figured you deserved an update.

Yeah, I know. Whether you want one, or not.

The affair this past Saturday was lovely and I was well-turned-out, as was my husband. As the venue was over an hour away from our home, I gave myself two hours to get ready and I used every fucking second of it. …