Deb, I completely get this and understand what it feels like to be numb with grief.

Both my parents died from stage four lung cancer, within two and a half weeks of one another at the same time I was being treated for early onset breast cancer. I remember being numb and tanked at my father's funeral.

My sister cared for them in her home until they passed and because of our brother's inattention, and his unhappiness with the way things "netted out," we haven't spoken to him in seven years. Such is life, huh?