Even though we don’t subscribe, my hubby and I keep getting this catalog geared to ailing geezers called Healthy Living. Normally, I toss it but these days, I’ll take a good laugh wherever I can find it. What an assortment of gizmos and gadgets for one’s “golden years.” Everything from nose hair clippers to penis-enhancing supplements to walkers and wheelchairs. The latter is what I think of as the “depressing” section. All the stuff we don’t want to think about but get shoved up our asses, regardless. Like the Big Pharma commercials during CNN breaks.

I was thumbing through it this morning and was stunned to see a section on vibrators! We’re not dead yet! I was riveted by all the styles and models, including a “suction sleeve” for guys. But I was dumbfounded by the headline for the vibes: “Hands-Free Fun!”

WTF? Have I been doing it wrong?