NO TICKY, NO TRANSPARENCY

Mayo? Or, Medium?

The condiment, I can understand

Sherry McGuinn
6 min readAug 29, 2022

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The “Mayonnaise Queen,” by Gary Knight/Flickr.Com

This is a bit of silliness. I’ll say it before you do. But, as I was trying to get through the YouTube interview with the new guy and the phenomenally successful Medium writer with the incredible head of hair. I found myself becoming bored AF.

“Awesome.” Yeah. Right. You just keep saying that, girl.

Admittedly, I know very little about this platform’s recently-anointed wizard but, being the skeptic I am, and, having gotten the financial shaft here for what will be five years in November, I can say, with all certainty, that nothing is gonna change, folks.

Okay? So stow those naive ruminations that we’ll finally be appreciated and, those of us whose lights have been hidden under bushels of bullshit will finally get our due.

Again. Ain’t gonna happen. Because for that to become a reality, those people who make the big bucks, both on the platform and behind it, will have to share the big-ass pie that the rest of us can only drool over.

Oh, we might get a tiny sliver in the beginning. You know, the “honeymoon period,” where all is bright and shiny, and just like a relationship gone stale, culminates in its partners’ mutual revulsion.

Now, the whole mayo thing needs some explanation. I’m a big fan of this tart, creamy condiment that tastes great on damn near anything, and I was pondering the differences between store-brand mayonnaise and those manufactured by Hellman’s, Kraft, Duke’s, etc.

There’s nothing fancy or complex about mayonnaise unless, of course, it’s the basis for aioli or a tongue-tingling chipotle sauce.

Mayo is simple. We get it.

Now, as one who grew up loving my mom’s tuna salad made with Miracle Whip, I came late to the mayo party, but once I dipped my chip, I never looked back.

To save a few bucks, as even a large jar of mayo is expensive AF, I’ve usually gravitated toward the store brands. But I discovered something. There is a difference. Barely discernible, perhaps, but there, nonetheless.

And then, I started thinking why that would be as mayo is merely a frothy, creamy, decadent…

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Sherry McGuinn

Long-time writer and big-time dreamer. Screenwriter. Cat mama. Red lip aficionado. sherrymcguinn@gmail.com