Oh, Stephen, my dear friend. I read this with my heart in my throat as my husband and I have felt this particular several times throughout the years. No. It never goes away. And even though you have nothing to feel guilty about, that probably won't go away, either. I can only tell you this: Lucky lives on in your heart and in the love you shared. Give Cato heaping amounts of that love, as we do to our brood of three kitties. We are blessed to share our lives with them. Thank you for writing. I hope this helps a bit.