What I’ve Learned in My Marriage Might Help You
What I’m about to share is difficult for me. This type of story always is. The kind that allows virtual strangers a clear and hopefully unbiased look into another person’s life, their heart, and yes, their soul.
No doubt, many of you here have been married for years or are in longtime relationships. And then there are those who are just embarking on your couple’s journey, excited, starry-eyed, and in it for the long haul. Because “hope” does, and always will, spring eternal.
I don’t mean for that last bit to be as ominous as it sounds, but it’s best to understand from jump street that one day, reality will rear its twisted head and life will knock the stuffing right out of you.
You might look at your partner ten, fifteen, or twenty years down the road if you make it that long and wonder what the fuck happened. You’ll struggle to recall who took that fork in the road, and why. Was it something you said and went unheard, or vice versa?
I love my husband. I’ve loved him for the thirty-five years we’ve been married and the four prior to our being wed. But, it’s different now. It’s certainly not the almost obsessive love that I had for him when we met, nor should it be as my crazy ass was even crazier back then. Now, it’s more of a “two best friends who happen to share a life” kind of deal. But here’s the thing. Often, it feels like I’m living one life and he’s living another.
Know that I’m not here to spouse bash or disrespect our marriage. Instead, I’m attempting to share a clear-eyed view of the shit that can go off the rails if both partners in a relationship aren’t paying attention.
Attention must be paid, folks.
In the beginning, when Cupid strikes, everything is rainbows and unicorns and butterflies. Ahh, those butterflies. Who doesn’t want those, no? We see the object of our desire and our stomach drops and our loins flush with heat. And we think, “this is it,” whatever the fuck “it” is.
But those butterflies die off, people. Sadly, they do. And for those of you who’ve been in long-term relationships and are still warmed by that heat, that rush of desire, then you’ve…